By M. Alexander
You deliver brilliant speeches (written by smart people who wear glasses and use old computers) about the state of the nation, your team has been digging up juicy dirt on other candidates, and you’ve kissed every baby east of The Rockies. Your image is skyrocketing, but you have another image that you may have forgotten about while you’ve been practicing your “smile and wave” routine to invisible audiences. It’s on your computer. And it’s on everybody elses— it’s social media. And right now, your public pages may not look so hot to a potential voter.
Your Facebook, your Twitter, and your Tumblr together combine into your social media brand. Right now, if somebody were to search your name, you may look like a party animal instead of a respectable citizen who can stand strong in the name of his country. But there is hope. You can change your brand! Here’s how:
- Figure out how a follower or somebody searching your name would see you. Maybe you have a picture of yourself drinking at a club, another of you pointing at a human-sized bottle of Jack Daniels (read: size comparable to Jared before he started eating at Subway), and a your profile picture shows you laughing and hurling napalm at a Buckingham Palace Guard. Your status updates and tweets are about how you don’t remember what you did last night, your friends comment about how they saw you get hauled away in the back of a police car, and the last place you “checked-in” was at the Mexican border. Unless this was all from 20 years ago and you are running on a George W. Bush “I found God so I put down the bottle” platform, you may want to change your image.
- Decide how you want to be seen and change whatever is necessary. If you want to be a Tea Party candidate, you may want to remove that your favorite books are The Little Red Book and The Crucible. Maybe you should change it to something nice, like The Prince by Machiavelli. Also, if you are running as a social liberal who promotes equality, you may want to remove that your favorite movie is Triumph of The Will—it may be misunderstood.
- Make your new page as innocuous as possible. Feature words like hope, change, future, and freedom. Use the colors red, white, and blue. Show off how white your teeth are. And come 2012, you should be sitting in some sort of round-shaped office.