By Josh Silver
For centuries people have poked holes in the myth of Santa Claus. How does he deliver all those presents in one night? How do all of those letters actually get to him? Well the answer is simple—Santa Claus runs one heck of a social media campaign. In fact, in many ways the methods that Santa uses have led him to be a social media guru. Here’s why:
- Santa was the first Facebook stalker.
Let’s be honest, it’s everyone’s guilty pleasure. But while you are checking out your ex to see if she’s hitting the clubs, Santa has to check every Facebook page in the entire world to see if people have been naughty or nice. In many ways his naught/nice list was the first online database. The “guru” part of it is he’s been doing it since before electricity. So the next time you consider posting pictures of yourself puking in a parking lot, you might want to think about that piece of coal with your name on it.
2. His Facebook page has over 244,000 Likes
That’s right. Santa, the so-called “fictional” symbol of good will has more Facebook friends than you and all your friends combined. This means that Santa can churn out the holiday spirit all year round. What’s even more impressive is that Santa Claus transcends the language barrier through his love of all the children of mankind. That means that you can find posts from people in nearly every continent on Santa Claus’ page.
3. Elves are amazing content managers
Since nobody has ever actually seen an elf sleep, it is safe to assume that they just manage comments 24/7. Sure, most of them are probably “making toys” and “shining the sled” but a select few have probably been chosen to spread that elvish cheer all over the Internet. Just imagine, when somebody posts, “Hey Santa never got back to me, he’s probably not real,” wouldn’t you want someone with a genetically cheerful personality to respond?
4. You can now DM Santa to save time.
That’s right. Santa Claus is on Twitter too and with over 334,000 followers people can now DM their Christmas requests straight to Santa’s workshop. A typical tweet from Santa is either a typical “good will toward man” kind of tweet or a simple countdown notice to Christmas but either way Santa is definitely someone you’ll want to follow.
5. Santa might discriminate but social media doesn’t.
For the millions of children that aren’t Christians, Christmas can be a rough time of year. Well not anymore. Now it doesn’t matter if you’re Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, or from an island of purple-skinned pagans who pray to a G-d of mustard. Either way, you’ll know that Santa got your message—thanks to the power of social media.